Lost...

A part of the poem Eloisa and Abelard by Alexander Pope

"In these deep solitudes and awful cells,
Where heav'nly-pensive contemplation dwells,
And ever-musing melancholy reigns;
What means this tumult in a vestal's veins?
Why rove my thoughts beyond this last retreat?
Why feels my heart its long-forgotten heat?
Yet, yet I love!--From Abelard it came,
And Eloisa yet must kiss the name.
Dear fatal name! rest ever unreveal'd,
Nor pass these lips in holy silence seal'd.
Hide it, my heart, within that close disguise,
Where mix'd with God's, his lov'd idea lies:
O write it not, my hand- -the name appears
Already written- -wash it out, my tears!
In vain lost Eloisa weeps and prays, Her heart still dictates, and her hand obeys.
How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd;
Labour and rest, that equal periods keep;
"Obedient slumbers that can wake and weep;"
Desires compos'd, affections ever ev'n,
Tears that delight, and sighs that waft to Heav'n.
Grace shines around her with serenest beams,
And whisp'ring angels prompt her golden dreams.
For her th' unfading rose of Eden blooms,
And wings of seraphs shed divine perfumes,
For her the Spouse prepares the bridal ring,
For her white virgins hymeneals sing,
To sounds of heav'nly harps she dies away,
And melts in visions of eternal day.
Canst thou forget that sad, that solemn day,
When victims at yon altar's foot we lay?
Canst thou forget what tears that moment fell,
When, warm in youth, I bade the world farewell?
As with cold lips I kiss'd the sacred veil,
The shrines all trembl'd, and the lamps grew pale:
Heav'n scarce believ'd the conquest it survey'd,
And saints with wonder heard the vows I made.
Yet then, to those dread altars as I drew,
Not on the Cross my eyes were fix'd, but you:
Not grace, or zeal, love only was my call,
And if I lose thy love, I lose my all.
Come! with thy looks, thy words, relieve my woe;
Those still at least are left thee to bestow.
Still on that breast enamour'd let me lie,
Still drink delicious poison from thy eye,
Pant on thy lip, and to thy heart be press'd;
Give all thou canst--and let me dream the rest.
Ah no! instruct me other joys to prize,
With other beauties charm my partial eyes,
Full in my view set all the bright abode,
And make my soul quit Abelard for God."

Want to see the rest? Look here: http://www.monadnock.net/poems/eloisa.html

Hi everybody...

A day can change so fast han? One moment you're just perfect... in other your castle felt down... It's crazy! I'm such stupid...
Today, me, my sister and my parents had launch outside... Was cool, for me who doesn't want to get out... After we took some ice-cream... Was great... When I got home, I watched Bridget Jones II... Which made me feel good... And it was great at home... I was shining!... But my friends called me to go out... And everything got wrong... It's horrible... It's 00:01, and tomorrow (today) I have class... I didn't study for a fucking shit I'm going to have tomorrow, 'cause I completely forgot... And I'm completely fucked with this,'cause it's a history work... I'm feeling very bad... I just wish I could don't have class today and I could stay at home alone... Just watching some TV, and movies... Oh... It's horrible...
This night I watched really great movie... Crazy one, but lovely... It's called: Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. It's great, if you're reading this, watch it... please... Oh... I wish I could do that 'thing' of the movie.... Take a lot of thing of my mind and forget... Just forget..
I'm feeling just terrible... And the fact that I have class makes me feel worst... Oh fuck... I'm completely lost you know? Oh... you don't know... I'm crazy... Maybe I'm the only one in this world who could be so stupid and... Oh... come on... I'm crazy...
I think I need to sleep, maybe... I have batteries and tomorrow going to school I'll listen to some good musics, and maybe I'll get better then...
I just came here to put those crazy thought that came into my mind...

Have a good night,
Nightingale

P.S. Sorry the bad words today... I didn't wanted.... But is what I'm feeling... you understand right?